Poor old Jim Davidson. You know he ain’t right because he has discarded the smart pin-striped suits and taken to slouching round in combat trousers. The reason we can only assume is sleep deprivation. Jim likes to kip, which the other HMs don’t seem to. Well, not at night anyway!
A young woman called Luisa, who I used to rather like, is grinding Jim’s gears. Jim has managed to keep his other female foe at bay, the Naughty Nolan but now Luisa has spitefully revealed she wants to make a mission of winding Jim up all the time.
Luisa is bored. And when she is bored she behaves like a very silly, schoolgirl. She is bright and feisty, which I really liked at first but she is now really starting to grate, with her little girl voice and the desire to the naughty pupil that likes to lead the others on. I am disappointed in her and expected more ie: displaying behaviour over the age of a sexually forward 12 year-old, who likes to bully boys.
Dappy, is her new toy. The “Ninnyhammer” (which is 16th Century speak for “simpleton”) is just easy game for clever Luisa because A) It has been proven that he has an IQ of 6% and B) He only thinks with his schlong.
Dappy has an impressive schlong, but unfortunately the man attached to it isn’t.
The other Ninnyhammers, meanwhile, got involved in a Talent Show. Jim all too briefly, became the Jim we know and remember, as compere and head judge. Other judges were sour-faced Linda, whos clock could literally curdle milk at 200 yards and Luisa, who CBB bosses would never dare let on stage in case she started pulling lightbulbs out of her foof.
Not really much to say about the “talent” - living statue Liz did a hit and miss stand-up routine, Lee tried to sing heartful meaning about his recent sordid antics in the house, while Casey’s eyes blazed at him trying to work out if it was she, or Jasmine, was his muse. Casey love, he was probably singing about himself.
Casey, managed by Jim, did a Stacey Solomon sounding schtick where her 3D “massive tits” were on display and have won over Dappy, if not the talent competition. Dappy leapt and sang all over the stage like a flea-ridden monkey dancing over electricity currents. Okay, the lad got a B plus in music!
Meanwhile, the winners were Ollie and Sam, who had to ad lib a break-up scene with props. This is the first time I have seen these two come alive in the house! Not surprising as it resembled A set up scene a la TOWIE/MIC. Ollie even cried real tears. As Judge Jim said in a double-edged summing up, “I am giving you a 9 because this is what you do in real-life. You’re both good actors.” Old reality pros that they are!
For Sam and Ollie, real life and reality shows really do have blurred lines. They can only display emotion when there is a scenario and a TV crew, which explains their blandness in the house. Somebody, for God’s sake, give them a script before they bore me to tears!
In celebration of the Talent Show, Big Brother laid out party nibbles. The ever increasingly thin Liz nibbled on a carrot stick and everybody danced to music. Except Jim.
Big Brother in the Diary Room: Don’t you want to dance Jim?
Jim: No. It’s a girl’s thing.
BB: Is there anything you would rather be doing right now?
Jim (deadpan): Die?
Brilliant!
No comments:
Post a Comment